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Dear Dee:I am a 16-year-old girl but I have actually a body of a 21-year-old. Since my body looks older, I have actually constantly acted even more mature then anyone else. I"m composing bereason I have never had actually a boyfrifinish. All the men my age think I"m 20 or somepoint. And all the men that ask me for my number or ask me on a date are 18 - 22. I"m so worn down of saying "no" to them particularly when I think they are cute. My older brvarious other came earlier from college and carried home a frifinish. I prefer him and he likes me so we exadjusted numbers. I made certain I didn"t find out his age and also he didn"t discover out mine simply to see if age was really simply a number. So we were talking for prefer 2 months and we ultimately kissed. That"s when I determined to ask him his age. He shelp 20. Then I told him to guess my age and he shelp 19 or 20. When I told him my age he didn"t even care. He shelp he preferred me for that I am and also he was glad I didn"t tell him my age before bereason he would have actually never gotten to recognize me on this level. Now we"ve been going out for 6 months. So my question is ... is age just a number or is it wrong for a 16 and also 20 yr old to be together?
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I can not really believe this man didn"t know just how old you are/were. He"s your brother"s frifinish. And I am certain, after meeting you, he asked your brvarious other about you. And come on. You had actually an idea of just how old he was, because he"s friends through your brvarious other. So while you saying "you deliberately" didn"t ask age, you knew. Anymeans, this isn"t the concern.The issue is this: I believe in a lot of states, it"s illegal for a 20-year-old to "date" a minor. And the initially thing coming to my mind as soon as I review your instance is this man simply desires something from you -- and also it does not seem to be a permanent relationship.You are 16. And while it"s way cool for you to day a 20-year-old, does it really make feeling a college boy would opportunity his "cool" variable by informing his college friends he"s dating a 16-year-old sophomore/junior in high school? It doesn"t seem to add up. Sure, there are the rare exceptions out there however it"s not the norm. Don"t take that the wrong method. It"s not being said to be suppose ... Can you check out how your case does not make sense? It"s prefer a senior in high school dating a freshguy ... does not really occur that regularly ... I don"t know what sort of partnership you have actually via your brvarious other, but if he"s a typical substantial brvarious other who"s rather protective of his little bit sis, perhaps he"d have a few points to say around his friend. Does he approve of you dating? Does he also know it? Period isn"t simply a number at your age. Tbelow are also many kind of personal and emotional differences in between a 16-year-old and also a 20-year-old. You are still in high institution -- figuring out what your following procedures are and also are acquiring guidance from your paleas. He"s in college, hopecompletely via a career path in mind and is making many of his own decisions. He probably has even more endure through relationships and also sex-related instances than you do -- and can pressure you into points you"re not ready for. I"d also problem you"d not feel comfortable saying "no" in order to not come off younger and also inexperienced. Later in life, age is less of an worry when, as an adult you"ve obtained more life suffer and you can make even more informed decisions. Regardmuch less of whether or not you look it, you are 16. You have to suffer things a 16-year-old would experience -- with peers or those a few years older than you. Discover to drive. Get your license. Celebprice high institution. Enjoy your beautiful figure by respecting your body and not acquiring into situations you"re not yet prepared to handle. Don"t thrive up too quick. And, do not be deceptive about your age. This is very, exceptionally crucial.Sorry I can not say what you want to hear. But regardmuch less of whether you take my advice or not, I carry out hope you will certainly think this case with exceptionally carefully and at leastern be aware.


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Anonymousshelp...

Though I perform not think it is appropriate, It is not illegal to day a minor. It's illegal to have sex via a minor.

June 10, 2009 at 11:47 PMAnonymoussassist...

I'm 17 and dating a 21 year old. It's pretty much the very same thing. All i deserve to say to this girl is, dont fall to hard for him. Chances are, he is going to finish up hurting you in the finish. Take things day by day, and also if you argue, don't be afrhelp to say your point of check out because u think hes gonna choose you less. That was my biggest trouble via my age difference. But i offered my boyfriend a choice; I told him he might either date a 17 year old senior still in highschool that has actually many kind of male friends and also is spoiled, braty, stuck up, immature, and 4 years younger then him, or we can speak to it quits. He told me he loved me no matter what, and that he doesnt treatment about all the differences. So much, hes more attached to me then i am to him. My main suggest is simply stand up for yourself, dont let this older male walk all over you and also think of you as a boy. If he does, hes not a keeper!

October 3, 2009 at 11:21 AMUnknownshelp...

Go for it fuck the law poeple are talking choose they dont recognize shit im a 20 year old male and i once day a 16 year old once i was 19 and the age dont mater they are stupid numbers and also cmon u obtained to look for what u desire not what poeple say that u must execute cuz several time they are wrong ok i agree the endure might varry however if you know he is not dating you for ur body and he love you for what you are just go for it lol don't also think its illegal cuz ur 16 and also its legal u could even have actually sex via a 30 yo for god sake that will be sort of retarded however poeple are so stupid to think that its wrong look at ur paleas lots of them have actually like 10 years of diference and also much less at some point even more so lol wth :D btw im from canada wright here the age is 14 and me personaly i wont date 14 yo cuz the imaturity lvl yet i obtain girl crushing on me from this age as much as my age and also also higher than my age this is only a number tell urself that

October 13, 2009 at 11:29 AMChelseysassist...

It Happens More Than People Think It Happens Everyday It Doesnt Matter The Era (Within Some Obvious Rationality Of Course)If You Truly Care For Someone You Can't Just Write Em Off Since Of "The Law" I Think If You Have Chemistry With The Person Go For It :)

October 23, 2009 at 9:09 PMAnonymoussassist...

HISTORY TEACHES US THAT HISTORY DOESN'T TEACH US A DAMNED THING! MOST SOCIETY OF FIXED,ARRANGED MARRIAGES HAVE HADVERTISEMENT IT GOING ON FOR AGES!MATURE YOUNG WOMEN DON'T WANT A DAMNED THING TO DO WITH STUPID IMMATURE GUYS "BOYS" THEIR AGE! ALWAYS WILL BE THAT WAY!MOST OF THE TIME A DOWRY IS INVOLVED, OF LATE, STUPID HAS WALKED IN ON US!THE ERA OF DRUGS HAS MADE MOST OF YOU ON DRUGS...WEIRD!PARANOID!LEAVE MOTHER NATURE TO HER DOINGS AND LEAVE DRUGS ALONE!

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January 4, 2010 at 4:45 AMLNDsaid...

I am in the very same watercraft you are in. I am 16 in high institution and also the guy i choose is 20 in college! I really really prefer this man and I dont recognize what to do! Cuz my paleas don't provide of us being together prefer we desire because they say that its as well massive or an age distinction him being in college and also me still in high school!! I don't what to disrespect my parental fees or anything but, I think im in love and I just really don't understand what to do!! I dont desire to wait any type of much longer, what have to I do???

January 31, 2010 at 3:48 PMAnonymoussaid...

i simply turned 17, And i have had many kind of boyfriends that were older. i think that girls that realize "boys" their age are stupid and also dont understand what they desire. so girls that are 16 & 17 feel the have to day older men and have actually even more suffer and also arent so stupid. Ad ideal currently my boyfrifinish is 3 years older then my, and also his birthday is 5 days b4 mine. So when he will certainly revolve 21 i will b 18. Tbelow is noting wrong through dating someone older. Adults perform it, You dont see 15 year olds dating and marrying a 35 year olds perform you? yet you sure as hell watch 20 year olds marrying 40 year olds dont you? exactly, so its not wrong to date some one tats only 4 - 3 years apart!! (:

February 7, 2010 at 10:40 AMAnonymoussassist...

For all of you that think this is cool, let me tell you my story... When I was 17 I had actually been going stable through a girl that was less than a year younger than I. We were together for approximately 3 years once she turned 16 and got her driver’s license. At this suggest in our relationship she chose to date an older man. The guy was 35 at the moment, and also was a cop of all points. She pulled the "Let's watch various other people for a month" line on me. I guess this proves that young guys can be stupid sometimes. She had actually this other guy all lined up and ready to go prior to she pulled the "line" on me. When I found what was going on it really devastated me and forever made me guard myself against obtaining to cshed to anyone ever aget. The funny twist to every one of this is currently that I am 30 years older, I have the right to look back and also view that it wasn't me that was the problem; I would have done anything for her. This was her decision. Later, after this older guy dumped her and also gave her a car in profession, she wanted to obtain earlier together. I tried but can never aacquire trust her. I constantly felt as if I was the "second" man. Always having actually to sneak approximately and try to continue to be out of website from some mysterious perboy, someone that she didn't desire them to view her with me. I couldn't address that anyeven more, so I finished it. She was an just son and was offered to gaining points her way all of the time. The years have passed and also she is still that spoiled little bit brat, constantly wanting things her means. I have actually been married for 28 years now. I have 2 grown youngsters and a beautiful wife. This girl that pulled this on me all of those years back has been married and divorced twice and is currently single. The years have actually not been type to her as she looks sort of ragged and well worn. Dark circles permanently hang below her eyes and also the sparkling smile she once had actually is currently faded amethod. Is this an excellent thing? Well... Life is what you make it. It's all around options, some of them great, some of them poor. The many vital point is execute what renders you feel finest, yet save in mind that there are aftermath for your actions, both great and negative. Just don't make the mistake of having a baby with someone just because you "think" you love them. It really is a duty of a life time, either common or alone. One more thing... If you're going to post a discuss the internet, please proof review your statement. It is really stupid for someone to accusage someone else of being stupid as soon as their punctuation and also spelling really make the writer of shelp comments look way much less intelligent than the topic they are commenting on.

March 3, 2010 at 6:58 PMAnonymousshelp...

My situation is a bit comparable , Im 15 dating an nearly 20 year old . At initially we distinction he assumed i was 17 , Yes i look much older then i really am however we lied to my household saying he's 17 .. Well as soon as my mom uncovered out she freaked thretfinished to sfinish him to jail if he doesnt continue to be away . Our partnership is so remarkable , i love him & he loves me .. For a while (Before my momma uncovered out)we kinda lived together , it was great we didnt fight or anypoint he was choose my bestfriend/Boyfrifinish . Welll . anyways he recently had to go to Cali to begin his footround , i was so depressed .. Still im progressively acquiring over itt , But hes comming ago (: FINALLY ! however my mother put a restraining oder on him /: So i dunno what to carry out .. Should i watch him still or wait till im older ? Since im certain our love will certainly constantly be tright here , ui jus dunno if us being together is worth him going to jail and also him having actually a document of a sex affender .. /: HELP !

August 14, 2010 at 4:54 PMAnonymoussaid...

My case is a little bit equivalent , Im 15 dating an nearly 20 year old . At first we distinction he thought i was 17 , Yes i look a lot older then i really am however we lied to my family saying he's 17 .. Well as soon as my mother discovered out she freaked thretfinished to send him to jail if he doesnt continue to be amethod . Our connection is so exceptional , i love him & he loves me .. For a while (Before my momma uncovered out)we kinda lived together , it was good we didnt fight or anything he was like my bestfriend/Boyfrifinish . Welll . anymeans he freshly had actually to go to Cali to start his football , i was so depressed .. Still im slowly gaining over itt , But hes comming back (: FINALLY ! but my mother put a restraining oder on him /: So i dunno what to execute .. Should i check out him still or wait till im older ? Since im certain our love will certainly constantly be there , ui jus dunno if us being together is worth him going to jail and also him having actually a document of a sex affender .. /: HELP !

August 14, 2010 at 4:54 PMAnonymousshelp...

I'm a 23 yr old guy i'v been dating a high college chick we talked for bout 6 months b4 she's turned 16 as friends she liked my insight and out looks she's the finest point that has actually ever before occurred to me even tho periodically her immaturity reflects I've been with her for 18 months now thru whatever she goes thru I have actually never once been choose hey let's have actually sex I turn her dvery own not her turning me down I don't execute it bc I don't want to but my morals informing it's wrong plus waiting is what I wanna perform .. I was a virgin till I was 19 so it was never bout sex so honestly I don't view anything wrong with dating a younger chick she's I love her for that she is and also I have readjusted her life and she has actually changed mine so I don't think it matters as long as it true live and also not just for sex

June 3, 2011 at 1:45 PMAnonymousshelp...

It's exceptional truly how on the exact same level even a 15 year old and also 20 year old can be. I was exceptionally mature growing up and also at 19 I came to be ideal friends through a girl who was 14 and believe it or not it resulted in love. I talked via her paleas and explained my intentions and all and they were ok with us dating. I was 20 and she was 15 by the time we actually started dating but we had actually so much in common. The "cool" element in college didn't issue to me bereason I'm not about what other human being think of me yet fairly being happy. People can't say "I don't recognize why someone that old would be interested in someone that young" till they have actually a comparable instance. It is possible no matter just how unlikely. I finished up marrying this girl in the future in my life. You can't rule out everything that looks suspicious. Everyone preaches the legality of it and also yes tright here are hefty penalties, however that doesn't drive 10 over the speed limit? (of course some dont) my allude is, there's constantly ignore for the regulation. Don't let the voice of world that have actually not been with such situations lead you astray. It might not occupational...but it still actually could occupational. You never before know. And as for just wanting sex...widespread...90% of males just desire sex even right into older periods. Yes it'd be happening via a younger more innocent being but neverthemuch less...you can't make an excuse for whatever it's just how guys have the right to be in basic regardmuch less of age. Give it a shot. Why not?

August 4, 2011 at 1:39 PMStuck_in_loveshelp...

I Juss turned 16 a while earlier. My boyfriend is turning 21 in a few months. we've been together for 3 years & its pure love.. all my friends say we're choose a married couple. when my mother found out once i was 13, she was furious & wanted him to leave me alone but we cant. Its prefer we're stuck 2getha. we arrangement to live to gether quickly & have youngsters however he states he'll wait till i end up college or as soon as im prepared. im jus waitin till im 17 to tell my mommy we still have actually a connection. i hate hiding it from my mommy cuz shes like my best friend. this day me & my boyfriend were talking & i finally made a decision to go virtual & check the legal age of consent out & its 17. jus 1 even more year... still dnt kno if i can tell her at 17 becuz i fear she will do evrythin in her will certainly to sheight it. why imy relationship so complicated??

September 2, 2011 at 10:41 PMAnonymousshelp...

we started talking i was 14 he was 17. he turned 18 a week later and also i turned 15 a month later. we met around 2weeks after i turned 15. he stopped by to say hi for the first time neither of us knew just how old eachother were... but we had actually been talking and also sharing points around eachother for a while. lol i told him happy belated 17th birthday.. and he sassist im 18... and i was favor oh i believed you were 17.. he laughed it off and also then asked just how i was i told him i was 15 ( he kbrand-new my birthday had actually simply passed).. it was an problem for much less than a minute. we began dating about 2 months later on. he met my parents a month afterward.they never before asked how old he was.. they asked if he was in my course. i told them no that he graduated the year before. my mommy didnt treatment my stepdad increased all 13 levels of hell... (as he does for everything). however still.. in my home im usualy on lock dvery own.. my mother has bird swarm syndrom and doesnt favor civilization about or for any type of of us to leave v.v ... yet i've been through my bf for around 2 years now. hes around to rotate 20 in 11days and i turn 17 next month. he simply relocated into a brand-new apartment an has actually simply contracted via the armed forces and will be commisioning soon after. (extremely proud of him) and yet after 2 years we are exceptionally close.. still very much in love through eachvarious other .. and also it barely feels prefer 6 months. he desires to save me in his life and also never before loose me and also i feel just the exact same. So If you really treatment for this male (hopetotally you review this lol) then go for it. I love mine with whatever i have despite the civilization. they all told me no to whatever i did. im 16 i've had actually a job for awhile i gain my liscens in januarary and i just recieved my GED initially try. and also to optimal it off. ive had a man to love and also love me ago for 2years that hasnt wanted to be acomponent. FUCK the human being lol. If its pure of heart then its simply fine. age is just a number until you are 18.

September 4, 2011 at 1:39 PMAnonymousshelp...

Well... I'm a 16 year old, (actually... not yet. I have about 21 days left till I'm truly a 16 year old.), and also I have a HUGE crush on my Italian teacher. >_> He's 24... turning 25 in November. I'm wondering if I have to just drop the hope of achieving a partnership for the future with him... you know, once I'm a college freshguy and all.

October 1, 2011 at 9:05 PMReeseSoSweetsassist...

Well im 16 and my boy frifinish is 21. We have been dateing practically 7 years yes because i was 10 see the point is i always look older for my age and also i constantly was mature. I dont think anything is wrong through it because if you understand exactly how to be mature and also you recognize thats what you want then be happy through it. I say store him and be happy because you never recognize at the end of this whole thing he might be your soul mate. Just because they regulation says no dosent intend anything because you can be 35 through a 20 year old so why not 15 or 16 with a 19 to 22 year old thats just my thought.

January 5, 2012 at 10:31 PMAnonymoussassist...

I am a 20 year old girl who likes a 16 year old guy that i have actually recognized for at least a few years, tho i don't understand him exceptionally well. I perform recognize his family also. My family members and also his family are almost neighbors. And i have also preferred him for fairly a while. Since i don't understand him that well and all and i know his household and don't desire them to look dvery own on me in that method, im simply trying to get to know him as a friend better. And possibly in a year or 2 check out if somepoint else happens if we talk even more. Im moving in a few days so i don't really recognize what might come of it unmuch less we talk on facebook or something, yet i am likewise taking that slow.

January 28, 2012 at 8:15 PMAnonymousshelp...

I am a 20 year old and I've been via My girlfrifinish for a little over a year. She' will be 16 in a few days. At initially i felt choose I remained in the wrong like I was doing something I wasn't aloud to yet tbelow was something there some bit spark that kept me roughly like I couldn't leave I think that age don't issue what provides you happy and feels right is what matters even more than anything!! Me And her Parental fees obtain Along good it really is crazy how mAture someone As young as 15 can be

February 3, 2012 at 12:32 AMAnonymousshelp...

Hey very same watercraft. But my parents said they were gonna carry out somepoint however didn't. Don't see him if you execute he deserve to go to jail don't put him or his family with that. I now it's not what you want to hear I wouldn't either however he could shed every little thing he has actually and will ever have. Sorry

March 25, 2012 at 11:39 PMAnonymousshelp...

Im 14, almost 15. I went on holiday and met someone that i assumed was 16. I chosen the look of him and we played a couple of of the tasks together. We started to stop so i provided him my phone number, and it turned out that he was 20. I've fell for him, and because he believed i was older, he dropped for me to. Now that we understand eachothers ages we don't know what to execute. We really choose one another, what must i do???

October 29, 2012 at 8:31 PMAnonymoussassist...

Hi :) Im 16 this year and my crush is 20. I met him in church and also i choose from the start when I initially saw him. I haven't confess to him though but I really choose him alot. I believed that its not a huge gap or any wrong through it becuz' most importantly is that both parties aremature sufficient to take care of points and go through ups and also downs. Do not comsimple,carry out not whine. Obstacles will always method,now,it depends on how both of you fight for each othe

March 19, 2013 at 12:26 AMAnonymousshelp...

Same situation, im 15, hes 20, we acquire alengthy so well and also when im 16 we will obtain together (im not all set for sex yet and he understands) my parents are versus it alot, however at the moment were simply friends so tbelow is nopoint illegal, I need to hide it from my parental fees wich I hate and I understand their issue and I don't disrispect them but they're over reacting so they'll have to attend to it and need to deal with it once I rotate 16 and tell them it all, also if it does cause an dispute, there's no law breaking so its simply the way it is

November 2, 2013 at 8:25 PMAnonymousshelp...

i am 11 i date a 17 year old boy.we had actually sex prior to he lbrand-new mmy age .boy was his penis lengthy.i thinl age is just a number

February 22, 2014 at 3:34 AMAnonymousshelp...

ok im 15 and also a half my boyfrifinish is 23 and a fifty percent.we started dating at they age of 12 and also 20.he made me pregnant at 14.my paleas dont mind.dad is 20 years older than mother.she had me at 13.they think its cute that im pregnant via twins.i currently have one girl.as shortly as i have actually these babies if ones a boy .theyy be carried as much as have actually sex together.however plz dont just gain pregnant.i dd coz me and also my boy have actually extremely well-off families.they earliest man i dayed was 39.i dated him as soon as i was 11.nothing sexual happened.i stayed qoth him for a year.i only desire to day menmeans older than me or younger.

February 22, 2014 at 3:46 AMAnonymoussaid...

ok im 15 and a half my boyfriend is 23 and a half.we began dating at they age of 12 and 20.he made me pregnant at 14.my paleas dont mind.dad is two decades older than mother.she had actually me at 13.they think its cute that im pregnant through twins.i already have one girl.as quickly as i have actually these babies if ones a boy .theyy be carried up to have sex together.yet plz dont just gain pregnant.i dd coz me and my boy have extremely rich family members.they oldest man i dayed was 39.i dated him once i was 11.nopoint sexual occurred.i remained qoth him for a year.i just desire to day menway older than me or younger.

See more: There'S Nobody To Blame But You Have No One To Blame But Yourself

February 22, 2014 at 3:48 AMAnonymousshelp...

I'm a 16 year old girl, my boyfriend is 19. I lied to him when we met once I was 15 and also sassist I was 16, now he thinks I'm 17 and also it's been about 9 months and also we're head over heels and so madly in love however guilt is eating away at me and also I don't recognize how to tell him.... I want to. But I can't.