Like many things that go viral, the question is both relatable and also haunting: Is he cute, or is he simply tall?

It"s an exposing personal critique and it calls for a minute of self-reflection. Do you have actually good taste in males...or is his confront so much over your own that you can not gain an excellent look at it? Do you actually favor the male whose arms deserve to reach the bar from 3 people earlier...or simply his wingspan? Are you attracted to the doofus whose little toes hang off the finish of your full-dimension bed...or just his capacity to fold your sheets without any help?

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There"s a social obsession through dating massive guys, sufficient so that men are seemingly more most likely to list their height in a dating-app bio than anything extensive about their personality. And researches back it up—of the few traits that women that day guys care around, elevation tops the list.

But is limiting your pool of dating choices to the six-feet-and-over-club (a statistically small group of people) damaging your possibilities at finding love? It"s an difficult question. So, two women—one that dates just tall dudes and an additional who prefers shorter mates—provided their impassioned disagreements for why they"re strategy to elevation is the ideal one.

Emily, 26, stays in New York City and also stans for shorter males.

I am 5"9", and also I"ve dated three males, all of whom were shorter than me. The shortest was badepend 5"6" and also my current boyfrifinish is 5"7" and is extremely cute, warm, beautiful, and so on It"s comfy to date shorter guys! You have the right to be the massive spoon, yet it additionally doesn"t make the small-spoon suffer any type of worse. I deserve to jokingly rest my arm on their shoulder. I deserve to reach things on better shelves as an act of kindness.

I"ve always been kinda whatever about elevation, more than likely in component because I"m gray-aesex-related and also so I"m seldom super seriously measuring people by their physical attributes as soon as I initially satisfy them. So it just taken place that eincredibly male I became interested in was shorter, however I favored them too much for it to ever issue. Also, I joke approximately a lot about having "big 5"6" energy."

A lot of civilization think I"m going to be shorter than I am in genuine life because I existing very "cute" and "soft." I feel favor human being associate height with some level of power or dominance, so it"s an exciting dynamic to be a taller woman that isn"t intimidating. I"ve been with men that are confident about their elevation and also I"m confident in mine, and also I think that"s pretty much all you require. Throw gender roles and perceptions of power based on appearance out the window!

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People that only date taller people do not gain to make nice tweets about dating "short majesties," and also they don"t have a shoulder that"s at the perfect height for their boyfriend to rest his head on. It"s a really cute endure to date someone shorter, and I"m all about cute stuff.

Pam*, 25, resides in Fairfax, Virginia, and also is a sucker for a tall male.

I am a sturdy, tiny girl that would be fine with a shortish guy...however simply isn"t. I am 5"3" and also my last ex was 6"6".


I know I"m at risk to the tall-male phenomenon just by looking at my dating history. With my most current ex, I overlooked clashing values bereason I assumed our partnership was going to gain tbelow. I kept thinking he was on the precipice of a breakthrough! But no. He wasn’t all that mysterious and interesting; I was choose, He’s tall and I think that’s mysterious in more means that I will shortly find past being shocked eincredibly time I see us in a mirror. Wrong.

I"m a victim of "is he cute or is he tall" syndrome. There"s, favor, an implied charisma. A tall guy has actually learned just how to resolve his long body and height; he has to lug himself well. And even if he does not, it does not issue bereason he"s so freaking tall, he"s going to stand also out anymeans.

Part of my attraction is just just how different it is—nobody in my family members is tall. I"m already on the shorter side however someone tall emphasizes that. I choose reasoning about my significant personality reining in this TALL dude. Plus, my absence of depth perception makes it so that I perceive any male 5"8" and under to be my height. It"s also feasible I emerged my attraction to tall males as a defense mechanism, provided that any kind of situation wbelow I"ve dated a male 5"8" or under has dealt me the trials and also tribulations of massive compensation in the create of an overblown ego and also perdevelopmental masculinity.


I guess Darwin or whoever before would certainly say that tbelow is some pet level of my brain that thinks a tall guy have the right to protect me, and also I would certainly agree. Tright here is some alattract in having actually to look up at a guy. It’s funny to project my voice constantly instead of actually looking up, which I seldom carry out in these relationships.

I wouldn"t ever day a man shorter than me—I am SO SHORT ALREADY, I CAN"T DO IT! I as soon as felt extremely catfished by a male on Tinder who looked various from his profile in many kind of methods, and also notably his elevation. He was 5"8" and preserved bringing up crying around his ex and also how he didn’t believe in create warnings. Did that set me approximately only prefer tall guys? Possibly.

So many kind of of the apps list height now! I can not say that I filter, however I admit I linger a tiny longer on a tall man through an average personality. And I swipe ideal on completely incompatible males that are unfathomably tall simply to view if they"ll match with me.

One final tip: In the scenario that you, a petite perkid, want your tall and also lanky boyfrifinish to lie on peak of you unmoving to act as an stress and anxiety blanket, it will certainly not work-related bereason of the weight circulation. It is disappointing and I desire to warn others. Maybe if the tall partner has actually more mass, it would certainly occupational out just fine.

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Hannah SmothersHannah writes around health, sex, and also relationships for, and you have the right to follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
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