Relying on fantasy/daydreaming as escapism: I endure from avoidant personality disorder and depression/low self-esteem, and also over the previous couple of years a way that I"ve faced it is to use fantasy. It started off via periodically imagining myself as a different perkid and also daydreaming around being in positive situations, yet over the years the fantasies have actually end up being even more thorough, with the person I imagine having actually a completely different name/life/and so on It"s gotten to the allude wright here I imagine these fantasies every single day, and have trouble resting if I"m not imagining myself as this other perchild. I"m totally aware that it"s all fantasy, however the degree that I"ve involved count on it scares me and I"ve never heard of anyone else via this type of problem. I"m afrassist to talk to a therapist around it bereason I"m afraid of what he or she would certainly think of me. —DreamerDear Dreamer,

I’m so impressed through you! First of all, in spite of your fear of being judged, you have taken the very courageous step of writing in via your question. Second, it sounds like the daydreaming and also fantasizing have offered as a very adaptive behavior—you have been able to get some relief from the depression and also low self-esteem by escaping right into your creative thinking. Unfortunately, it appears favor this coping strategy has taken on a life its very own and also end up being rather of an impediment to your capability to feature in your day-to-day life.

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In some methods, what you are describing isn’t totally dissimilar to exactly how substance-abuse concerns can develop—someone is in discomfort, seeks relief in alcohol or drugs in order to escape the discomfort, and also eventually concerns depend on the substance to an extent that it interferes with life. That said, one crucial distinction between what you are describing and substance abuse is that there is fairly most likely some real value in what you are utilizing to escape. Many effective human being begin their journey toward success by imagining it—they dream around their success and then they begin creating purposes (and also functioning towards them) that will move them toward their dream. I suspect that the life you have produced in your imagination is closer to the life you desire than your actual, existing life is. If my suspicion is accurate, then it provides sense to execute what you can to begin relocating towards the life you have actually imagined for yourself.

Given your struggles via depression and also self-esteem, you could be thinking: less complicated shelp than done! This is absolutely true, but it does not mean that it is impossible to live a life closer to the one you imagine; it ssuggest suggests that you should gain therapy to attend to the depression and self-esteem. Right currently, these concerns might be all that is maintaining you from working on making your fantasy life a truth.

This brings me to your fear of disclosing your fantasy civilization to a therapist. First, tbelow is no shame in the fantasy life that you have actually created; in fact, I believe it will eventually serve as a road map to move you to the life you have been dreaming around. However before, if you are still feeling anxious around sharing this civilization with a therapist, recognize that you don’t have to in a first, second or also third session. In fact, I would say if discshedding it is so anxiety provoking that it is avoiding you from seeking therapy, perform not disclose it until you are confident that you have a trusting, therapeutic connection via a therapist. Sometimes when civilization disclose too a lot before a really solid functioning alliance is establimelted, they feel exposed and delicate to an intolerable level and they leave therapy prematurely.

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You can prevent this by finding a therapist who you think can be an excellent fit for you and also setting up an initial session. You could even erected an initial session via a pair of various therapists and see who you feel many comfortable through. Once you believe you have a great complement, work on building a strong therapeutic partnership and when you feel prepared, open up up around your fantasy life. As the depression and also self-esteem worries begin to be addressed and you open up up about your fantasies, you just could find that these incredibly fantasies will certainly become your road map and your therapist will serve as a supportive guide as you follow the map to your dreams.