My dad is, from my perspective, a very rude and condescending person. It dawned on me today while we were out shopping, when he told me, as loud as possible, how bad my dandruff is in front of the cashier. He's called me fat before (I'm 5'5" and 118 lbs.), he's slapped me hard across the face when I was 10 for not understanding my math homework (I was in algebra), and always complains about the amount of money he spends on me. I love my dad, he does a lot for our family. But I hate being around him. I know, somehow, he'll find a way to make a situation negative.
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For instance, a few hours ago, our home phones (a set of two: one downstairs, one in my brother's room) were going off. They stopped ringing, so I assumed my dad or mom had picked it up, and didn't bother to get up to check. A few minutes later, my dad starts yelling about how much it pisses him off when people don't answer the phone (me in particular). The phone was actually in his office, with the other one dead in my brother's room. He hasn't been violent with me since I was 11, but he's verbally very loud and hurtful. He called me an 'idiot', and my mom tried to talk him out of yelling at me.
Another example is before a school trip to France, I asked my dad to send my guidance counselor an e-mail about a scholarship opportunity. I had completed all the necessary applications a month in advance, and just needed a letter of recommendation from a school official. I left a note on his desk with her e-mail and name, reminded him at the airport, and left a note on the fridge. Of course, when I came home, he didn't do it. And it was my fault. He tore up my applications (there were 4 copies), threw them away, and yelled at me about how I'll never go to any college because of how lazy I am in front of my friends. It was humiliating. Then he told me to do all the laundry by the end of the day, because I needed to 'get used to doing manual labor since I'll never get a degree'. I was really hurt, went to my mom to try to talk to her, and she said just let it go. But this happens all the time, with very minor things. By the way, I'm a National Honor Society student involved in 7 clubs with a 4.3 GPA, and I've taken and passed 3 AP classes. So again, I felt really hurt. I work very hard in school.
My brother, who's 3 years younger, is a star athlete. When he gets to high school, he'll more than likely get many scholarships for sports. But I don't have that; I have to work very hard academically.
I know my dad tries hard to be close. He listens to the same music I do, and goes to concerts with me. He likes taking a lot of pictures of the family, and doing 'family things'. But no matter what, they are negative by the end of the day. It's irritating, scary, and makes me not want to be around him.
I'm a 17 year old high school senior. I do live in an upper-middle class situation, and my parents do buy me a lot of things, even when I don't ask. They're financially very supportive, and I appreciate everything they do. But I do not like being around my dad. Is this just a phase? These feelings have been around for a very long time, since I was little. I have never been close to him since I can remember.
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Am I justified in not wanting to be around him? Am I just being a typical, selfish teenager? I need help. I always see pictures and stories of my friends talking about how much they love their dads. I used to do that, but now I just don't go out of my way anymore because we aren't close. I feel odd because of it. Again, I love him. But, he's not a friendly guy.