Jack Donaghy, as played by Alec Baldwin on NBC’s 30 Rock, has recharacterized the incredibly concepts of manliness, suit-wearingness, and also handshakefulness over the years, all for the advantage of the show’s viewers. Since underneath his silver, panther-favor, veneer of perfectly styled hair and business acumen, Jack Donaghy is, at heart, a mentor that wants to take our pitiful understanding of the world and also crush it in his mind vice.

You are watching: Never follow a hippie to a second location

On the eve of his show’s series finale, we honor the wit and wisdom of Mr. Donaghy, and reflect on all he has taught us over seven periods.

Editor’s note: You deserve to likewise review some excellent quotes by Ron Swanboy from Parks & Reproduction.

10. Hippies Are Not To Be Trusted (Seachild 2, Episode 04)


Liz: I’m feeling pretty drunk.

Jack: Well, it’s company drunk. It’s choose affluent drunk. Either method, it’s legal to drive.

Ah, the lives of the affluent and also powerful. How various are they from the lives of everyone else? That actually isn’t a rhetorical question. I was really curious about it, so I went out and learned what other privileges the upper course gain, other than metabolizing alcohol differently than the plebs. Did you know that…

If a rich perboy shoots someone, the various other party have the right to be charged with bullet theft?If you start collecting your urine in expensive glass jars while rich, you aren’t “dangerously unhinged,” but fairly “delightfully eccentric.”

8. It’s Good To Kill And Eat Your Loved Ones (Season 5, Episode 6)


“We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.”

The full quote is actually, “Do you know what the company model is in the entertainment industry? Make ten shows and hope that among them functions. We develop more failed pilots than the French air pressure.” What Jack does not tell you, however, is that NBC decides which shows occupational, and also which don’t, by utilizing a dart-throwing chimp. That is seriously the just possible explacountry for cancelling The Event. No, seriously, you decide to end The Event on such a humongous cliffhanger? That’s choose ending The Sixth Sense the minute after the son announced he have the right to check out dead human being. I swear, I will certainly discover out that was responsible for cancelling that present and also duct tape them to the nearest lamp write-up.

OK, tangent over. Here’s your life lesson: never get attached to anything, bereason someone might take it ameans from you at a moment’s notice. Yes, doing so will make you a depressing shell of a humale being, yet at leastern you won’t gain angry anyeven more about your favorite TV shows gaining cancelled.

6. Wanna See Jack Nude? Here’s 50 Bucks (Seakid 2, Episode 4)


“I acquire my hair reduced every two days, after all your hair is your head suit.”

In the era of widely-welcomed bed hair, and also runaway-clipper hipster disasters, it’s excellent to remember that world will judge you by your hairstyle bereason — as Jack so elegantly put it — your hair is your headsuit. It is a pleasant outer layer spanning the shameful nakedness below.

But then, what are hats? Coats, I suppose. Somepoint to throw on top of your suit throughout the chillier months. But then, what are earmuffs? And for that matter, what are highlights? And, according to Donaghy, bald males are technically flashers. How carry out wigs fit into every one of this? OK, we still love you Jack, however this metaphor demands some work-related.

4. Do Not Trust Florida (Season 3, Episode 2)


“Come on, Lemon. What carry out we elites do as soon as we screw up? We pretfinish it never happened and offer ourselves a giant bonus.”

Sometimes, a joke ends up so true that it stops being funny, kind of choose informing single world over 30 that no one will certainly ever before love them. This is an additional such example.

From Wall Street to numerous astronomical corporations throughout the nation, you don’t need to look also hard nowadays to uncover a bunch of high-position, inknowledgeable nincompoops that believe that they deserve astronomical cash prizes sindicate for not choking on their $100-a-pound caviar. Also, I think I could have just uncovered the a lot of depushing sentence in the history of ever before.

It’s a sad truth of the world and also, sadly, there is bit any type of of us can carry out around it various other than learn to live through it, bide our time, and pray for another proletariat radvancement. Incidentally, just how have actually the various other ones turned out? Let’s simply check Wikipedia and…oh… ooh…never before mind then…

2. Teachers Are Actually Kinda Dumb (Seaboy 5, Episode 7)

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It’s after 6:00. What am I, a farmer?

Apologies to all farmers reading this. We suppose no disrespect. You men are what renders French fries possible, and also therefore you rock harder than the Rolling Stones offering a concert apeak a collapsing hill.

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But taken even more mostly, the true definition of this quote is rather obvious: a tiny little of class never eliminated anyone. Also: human being who wear socks through sandals must be rounded up and also detained on a deserted island also. It can not say that exactly, yet it’s heavily implied, and absolutely worthy of everyone’s support.