How Did You Kcurrently What I Was Thinking?

Change a person's mind before they say, "No."

Posted September 30, 2012




You are watching: What does it mean to purse your lips

How Did You Kcurrently What I Was Thinking?

No one can check out minds, yet they have the right to come close by observing nonverbal display screens. Some nonverbal cues are more evident than others. The evident cues are less complicated for observers to read and also interpret. Likewise, apparent cues are much easier for speakers to manage, hence camouflaging their true thoughts. Subtle nonverbal cues are harder to control and reveal even more intimate information. One of these subtle cues is the lip purse.


Lip Purse

A lip purse display is a slight, almost imperceptible, puckering or rounding of the lips. This gesture signals dissension or disagreement. The more pronounced the lip purse, the more intense is the dissension or disagreement. Pursed lips suppose the perchild has actually developed a assumed in their mind that is in opposition to what is being said or done. Knowing what a perboy thinks provides you an advantage. The trick is to readjust their mind prior to they have an possibility articulate their opposition. Once an opinion or decision is expressed out loud, changing a person’s mind becomes even more hard due to the mental principle of consistency. Decision-making causes tension to some degree. When a person provides a decision, tension dissipates. They are less likely to change their mind bereason to perform so would certainly expect admitting their initially decision was a negative one, thus resulting in stress and anxiety. Maintaining an articulated place reasons less tension than going through the decision-making process aacquire no issue just how persuasive the debates for readjust may be. In other words, once people say somepoint, they tend to reprimary consistent through what they sassist.


The next time you present a task or proplace to your supervisor, watch for the lip purse display. If your supervisor purses his or her lips during your presentation, you recognize that he or she has already created a believed in opposition to your proposal. Once you see a lip purse, you have to attempt to change your supervisor’s mind before he or she vocalizes opplace. Empathic statements are best for this function. Try: “So, you don’t think what I am saying provides much sense. Let me go over a couple of things that will certainly show you that what I am proposing is the ideal course of activity.” You acknowledge your supervisor’s doubt and current counter debates to readjust his or her mind prior to the negative believed is voiced. Observing for lip purses is likewise useful as soon as talking through your spouse, colleagues, and also friends.


I watch for lip purses during my lectures. If a participant purses their lips, I usage an empathic statement to discover what the nature of the opposition is to what I am saying. For example, “You’re having actually trouble through this principle.” When I use this method, participants frequently renote, “How did you know what I was thinking?




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John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D., is a behavior analyst for the FBI, and is the author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent"s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over.