Guys don’t seek me. I supplied to have a decent amount of males that would certainly hit on me once I went out through friends and also a couple of who would hit me up on social media. I’d say I offered to have a good amount of males that assumed I was attrenergetic and also that would flirt via me. Now, no men hit on me. I do have actually a boyfriend, which might be the reason. But my friends have actually boyfriends yet they still acquire hit on. The just factor I’d say guys don’t hit on me about my boyfrifinish is bereason a lot of human being think he is super intimidating. He is recognized to be the boy you don’t mess with. So perhaps that’s why? But I am still not buying it. In college I am super quiet, seldom making friends (which sounds poor, however I simply stick through my team of friends. I am a naturally shy perkid so I don’t talk much). So maybe that’s why? Maybe I am simply not approachable? I don’t know…. also though I have actually a boyfrifinish and also would certainly never cwarmth on him, understanding that males are attracted to me is reassurance. I check out girls that aren’t out of this civilization beautiful and they obtain males going after them, so why don’t males seem to like me? Do I provide off the wrong vibes? Do males back off because they know I have actually a boyfriend? What’s going on??? I feel ugly


April 14, 2018 at 5:47 am#202347
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anita
Participant

Dear Katie:

I don’t recognize exactly how you look favor but I trust you, from having review some of your previous threads, that you are not ugly.

You are watching: Why don t guys hit on me

You wrote: “What’s going on???”- I think what is going on is that you are very self centered, believing someexactly how that the civilization needs to revolve approximately you, accommoday your every desire.

In this thcheck out your desire is that males will certainly go after you. It doesn’t issue to you that if they do, their feelings will certainly acquire hurt as soon as you disapprove them (because you currently have a boyfriend), or that they might obtain hurt by your boyfriend (who you proclaimed looks intimidating and to whom you may tell, if anther male goes after you). Namong these things issue.

What matters is that men seek you so that you will feel excellent, so that you feel as great as other girls that have actually boyfriends and also various other guys pursue them anyway.

What matters is that you feel great, that is the just thing that matters. This is what I expect by being extremely self focused.

It will serve you much better in life to exit that mindset, and take in other people’s wellness right into your consideration.

anita


April 14, 2018 at 8:23 am#202373
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anita
Participant

* correction and also elaboration: I went a bit through an all-or-nopoint reasoning here. Probably various other people’s health does issue to you somewhat, possibly your parents’ well being (it constantly does, for a child), maybe some various other people’s well-being matters as well.

What I understand also is that you might frequently emphasis on you feeling good at the exemption of others’ health, as in the example I provided you, concerning young males going after you (the title of your thread), caring that somepoint happens so that you feel excellent, not offering a thought to what this point happening will reason others.

My idea is: think of your well being and also of others’ well being as you communicate with human being. Make your interactions via others a Win-Success prospect.

anita


April 15, 2018 at 4:05 pm#202555
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Katie
Participant

Anita,

Yeah that renders feeling. I guess the only means I’d have the ability to comsimple about males not going after me is if I were single and also reflecting 100% availcapability. I don’t recognize, I’m still insecure though.


April 15, 2018 at 4:24 pm#202565
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Mark
Participant

Katie,

It is a losing proposition if you depfinish on others to validay you. If you meacertain your worth by that likes you, who goes after you, and so on then there is no Self, tright here is no self love.

If you desire to feel great around yourself then perform what anita says and reap that you are. Look at what great attributes you have and celebprice that.

Mark


June 18, 2018 at 12:10 pm#212949
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Sege
Participant

Hi,

That fact that you require various other guys hitting on you while you have actually a boyfriend kinda claims a lot about your perspective. Indefense / low self esteem I assume. Although, I do understand many women require compliments for some kind of assurance yet, shouldn’t you be more worried around that of you boyfriend?

Now let’s switch things a little bit. How would certainly you feel discovering your boyfrifinish wishes to be hit on and constantly preferred by other woguys once he currently has actually you? It goes both means you understand.

You’re beautiful because as you pointed out, guys were hitting on you in the previous and also hey, you’re the girl through a boyfriend who more than likely adores you. What even more could you want?

Stay calm and don’t over think every little thing.


June 19, 2018 at 5:43 am#213115
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M
Participant

Focus on boosting yourself and also your attributes instead of relying on others to tell you you’re attractive to make you happy


June 19, 2018 at 8:17 am#213153
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Anonymous
Inactive

Hey Katie,

I entirely get it. Its really nice once other guys pay attention to you. Its likewise genuine nice when various other human being pay attention to you in general. It offers you a feeling of feeling wanted.

I understand friends that constantly seem to gain approached by various other males and that are exciting to others. I think their trick is that they actually invest time in themselves and also dont really treatment around what others think around them. Maybe they are functioning on a big task or making plans for the future. Due to the fact that they are so self invested, they make others feel curious sufficient to ask around what is going on in their resides. My approachable friends likewise perform not talk to others through the intent of “im going to say this and also this and also theyll choose me”. They just say whatever they want unappoligetically. Other civilization feeling when someone is trying to hard to be likeable. When my friend doesnt try to be likeable, it helps the pther person loosen up.


July 29, 2019 at 12:27 pm#305523
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Katie
Participant

I am looking earlier on all of my old threads, and also whatever that everyone has shelp in the comments is true. About a year later on, I feel favor my crippling self-doubt and also low self-esteem are more evident than ever. I think this was the start stages of my journey right into realizing exactly how low my self-esteem is. At the same time, I am enhancing and also becoming more confident.

I likewise desire to state that I don’t think I was being realistic. The fact is, I rarely went out. I visited high college, went residence, or hung out through my boyfrifinish. I was seldom also in social instances wright here guys might hit on me. I think I was comparing myself to my friends who were in social cases even more frequently than I was. For instance, my finest friend had actually an extremely major connection similar to mine, yet she had actually a job wright here she would certainly communicate with a lot of guys our age. She additionally was exceptionally widespread on social media and was constantly posting images of herself, while I posted on Instagram 3 times a year. Obviously, she is going to obtain even more attention.

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After entering college, I was constantly in social situations… and males did finish up hitting on me. So I think I was just perplexed. I was being pretty self-centered… initially, because I had a boyfrifinish, second bereason I expected guys to hit on me no matter what, and also third bereason I meant to be hit on by men without even placing myself in a situation wbelow they might. I am still functioning on feeling confident without having actually the validation from others. It’s a process yet I’m trying.